There’s no ‘U’ in diet. But there is an ‘I’

Dear Doctor Ninja,

I’m a 33 year old female. I started a new diet this year, and I’ve lost a bit of weight already. It feels like I lose the same 15 pounds every year no matter which one I try. I’m starting to wonder which diet would be best for me to lose the weight permanently. There are so many articles on so many diets, that I don’t know how to choose! Help!

F. Ifteen

There are a couple of things that almost all diet-type science folks agree upon:

  1. If you’re not eating enough food, and don’t have a medical condition, weight gain is nearly impossible. And by nearly impossible, they mean that if it were to happen—that someone gained substantial amounts of weight while eating not enough food that could ONLY be explained by their food, that it would be a publishable case report in a very prestigious medical journal and you wouldn’t be hearing about it on a blog first because the news would be THAT big.

  2. A diet that cannot be followed by an individual, can’t produce results.

After that, it turns into a shitshow.

But, if we consider the these two things, a diet that will cause weight-loss really just has one purpose:

To give you a set of eating “rules” that you can stick to, that allows you to not eat enough food.

Not eating enough food is not the same as being hungry. And hungry is a state of mind that is driven not only by what’s in your tummy, but also when you’re used to eating, how much you’re used to eating, who else is eating with you, or at the same time as you, how certain foods make you feel, what memories certain foods evoke, and what food means culturally to you and what your beliefs around what the function of food is, apart from just calories. And more.

Diets aren’t made for everyone (one might even argue that they’re not made for any one). They make assumptions about what people will and won’t tolerate. For some people, eating three meals per day, no matter what is in those meals is mandatory. For other people, feeling full is more important than eating three meals a day. The range of priorities that we each MUST have in order to feel satisfied (or at least not angry) about our food is as wide as the number of diets available to us.

Thinking about what’s important to you when it comes to food and then picking the diet that respects those values is more important than picking a diet that is “scientifically best” (as though there was such a thing) and changing yourself to fit it.

The diet you pick is like picking who to date. You have a certain set of core values that you won’t give up for anyone. A compatible partner respects or even shares those values. Likewise, all relationships require some degree of compromise. But that compromise doesn’t involve changing who you are fundamentally. Your relationship with your diet shouldn’t be an abusive one.

And just like we outgrow some relationships, we can outgrow our diets. The diet that you partner with that enables you to lose those 15 pounds might not be the diet that enables you stay at your new weight, because at your new weight, some values can change. The good news is that breaking up with your old diet doesn’t have to be full of angst. You don’t even have to text it.